six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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