no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
