can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
