im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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