can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
