I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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