I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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