'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
