can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
