my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
