i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Holy shit dude........stairs
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
