I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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