he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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