I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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