If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
