I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize