then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
