I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I could make wine with my vomit
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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