If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize