And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
