my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She just used a chaser for red wine.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
