I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I bet he comes in French.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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