the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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