I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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