just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
