I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This is classic penis vs brain.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
