so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
