JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There's always time for handjobs
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
