I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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