I wish you could order shots online.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
