you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
