she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize