I heard we made out
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My feet surprised me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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