wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
someone owes me an orgasm
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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