Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

My hand turned me down

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(209): View more from California

I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.

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(360): View more from Washington

on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?

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(817): View more from Texas

She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.

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(903): View more from Texas

Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident

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(314): View more from Missouri

We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.

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(310): View more from California

This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?

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(925): View more from California

We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.

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