Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
