You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
