I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize