theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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