Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
