He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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