Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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