i just identified you from a description of your pipe
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize