rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
