I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
