I'm pants shitting drunk right now
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
