i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
