Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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