Pappa wants mamma naked
thus making me awesome and them whores
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm too high and old for this...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
