Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
