do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
