yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize