Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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