his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
