I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
