Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
