i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
