respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
