O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
where am i from again
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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