Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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