I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
