office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My pussy is not your playground.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
