If i come over, it means nothing
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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