Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
