Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
