Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
