You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize