So drunk, too bad you don't want this
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's never too late to be topless.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
