Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
