Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
