also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
