Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
