so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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