Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize