Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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